I wish I could take it all back
by Puritina
Summary: Spinner has second regrets about marrying Emma and realizes that he is still in love with Jane, meanwhile Jane is with Declan. Includes some Sav and Anya too.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first fan-fic I hope you guys enjoy. Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN DEGRASSI.**

Summary: What happens when Spinner realizes that marrying Emma wasn't the best idea and wants Jane? Will Jane welcome him back with open arms or will she have moved on? Sorry that's all I'm telling you guess you'll have to read the story then.

I wish I could take it all back- Chapter 1

Spinner's POV

It had been 2 months since I was living with Emma, 2 months since I had talked to Jane, and 2 months since I had stopped working at the Dot. Things were going okay but now and then that little voice inside my head would say what if i were still with Jane. I missed her, and although I loved Emma, I wasn't in love with her.

"Bacon and eggs is ready!" Emma shouted happily taking out two plates for us.

"Thanks." I said with a light smile.

"No problem, my cooking skills have really improved by this. So how is your new job Spin?" Emma asked as she grabbed the utensils.

"Great, i guess. I mean, it's a decent pay for working at a resturant as a bus boy." I said slightly upset. It had been 2 months and all I could do was work as a bus boy washing dishes and occasionally being able to hand out dinner to people.

"Well, I'm glad to hear that. Do you wanna go to the park today?" Emma asked finishing up her food.

"Uh, no I think I'll pass. I need to go somewhere." I said. With that I got up and left out the door. I just couldn't do it, marry someone who I'm not inlove with.

Emma's POV

I watched him walk out the door. I wondered what was wrong with him. Maybe he needed to clear his head. Maybe it was something more. I wasn't sure but all I knew was that he didn't seem very happy today. Either way I let him go and washed all the dishes. Maybe he just had something to do.

_Meanwhile _

Jane's POV

I kissed Declan lightly as we walked to the park together. I was happier. He told me everything about Holly J, and I told him the sad news with me and Spinner. Somehow along the way we just clicked and now we are together.

"So what's on the agenda today Jane." Declan said.

"Not sure, I have a ton of research to do though, who knew Yale could be so much work." Jane said sarcastically.

"Oh yeah, thanks for the reminder I should get on that." He said smiling. He gave me a quick peck then took out papers from his backpack.

We both sat there occasionally talking and helping each-other with parts of the papers. Nothing could ruin this day or any other day with him. He's special to me and I love him.

**Well that is my attempt at creative writing. There will be a lot of drama and I think all of you readers will be surprised at the things that happen. Holly J, Declan, Jane, Emma, Spinner, Sav, Anya, and Sean will be in this story. I hope that everyone enjoyed. Please Review, even if you didn't like it.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for all the reviews. I really appreciate every one that I get.**

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN DEGRASSI (However if I did Jimmy wouldn't have gotten shot and J.T would still be alive.)

Summary: As Jane and Spinner's relationship grows, does Emma catch on?

It's all coming back- chapter 2

Spinner's POV

I kept walking, going nowhere exactly. I decided to call Jane, just to hear her voice, to see how she was doing. Maybe she'll want me back, maybe she's moved on, and one call doesn't hurt though. I took out my cell phone and dialed her number. In my head, I kept hearing a voice that startled me. Over and over it said she'll never take you back. After 3 rings, someone answered the phone. It didn't sound like Jane though.

"Hello, is this Jane?" I said curiously.

"Jane! Someone wants to talk to you." A familiar man said.

I waited a while before someone answered.

"Hi, who's this?" Jane said.

"It's me, Spinner." I said anxiously.

"Oh, hey, it's been- well a while. How have you been?" Jane said.

"I've been doing good, it's great to hear your voice Jane." I said.

"Yeah, you too. So... did, well, uh, is the Dot fixed up?" She said.

"Uh, yeah I think so but I'm not working there anymore. How's Harvard?" I said.

"Plans kind of changed and I decided to go somewhere else." She said.

"Oh so I wanted to ask you something." I said.

"Sure, what is it?" She said.

"Well I've been thinking- Jane! We need to be at the place in 10 min." A voice interrupted. It sounded way too familiar.

"Wait! Is that Declan?" I asked a little upset.

"Uh, yeah we're at the same college. I have to go Spinner. It was nice talking to you." She said.

"Yeah, you too Jane. Goodbye." I said hanging up the phone.

**What'd you think? Review please I love reading the comments. Sorry that's it for now more to come. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Read and enjoy**.

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN DEGRASSI (I wish I did but I don't.)

Summary: Spinner and Jane keep talking, but how long will it be until Emma notices? How long will it be until Spinner uncovers some shocking news.

She's here- chapter 3

Jane's POV

I had just hung up after talking to Spinner. I missed him so much, hearing his voice again felt so good. I wondered if he was still with Emma. I caught hold of myself. I shouldn't be thinking about that. If he's with Emma, then he's with her. But still, I wonder what he wanted to ask me. A voice quickly interrupted my thoughts.

"Jane! We have the presentation remember? You have 5 minutes." Declan shouted to me.

The presentation, I had completely forgot about it. I put my new clothes on quickly and grabbed my board. Hopefully I would get an A, I was a little irresponsible about it and waited until the last day, but still, it was pretty good work for last minute . I raced down stairs to see Declan there with a small grin on his face. It made me remember how Spinner use to always smile. I quickly shook the thought out of my head and walked with him hand in hand to the car to get to class. It was only 5 minutes away luckily.

We got to class late but on time for the presentation. As I brought my board and some papers up, I started to begin my speech. "Fellow classmates today I bring you- just a second Jane." My teacher interrupted.

"Today we have a new student here, she came in a little late but I'm sure she will catch up. Holly Sinclair please take a seat." The teacher said smiling.

"Call me Holly J please Ms. Manson", I heard her say.

I smiled at her giving her a friendly wave. She gave me a smile back, or so I thought. She wasn't smiling at me though, she was smiling at Declan.

**Well readers, I think you know the drill. Review. I hope you guys liked it. The next chapter focuses more on Holly J and Jane, but I may have Emma and Spinner in it as well. I hope you guys enjoyed the story.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you for the reviews once again. It's nice to know that at least a few people are reading. This chapter is going to be a little longer than the other one. Enjoy!**

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN DEGRASSI

Summary: Will Holly J notice that Declan and Jane are together? Will Spinner tell Emma what's on his mind or will he realize that she needs him? Will Holly J and Declan start connecting? Hmm guess you'll have to read and figure out.

Anger Filled Within Me- Chapter 4

Jane's POV

I sat there watching her eye Declan. Declan stared back at her; he couldn't take his eyes off of her. I kept looking at the two of them until my teacher finally told me to start the presentation. I finished my presentation and walked to my desk, which was behind Holly J. I whispered a hi to her and she waved back friendly. So she wasn't mad after all, that was great. Maybe we'll be best friends all over again. As all the classes ended I waited for Declan to show up. He came to the car walking by Holly J and saying a quick goodbye. Before he got in the car, I asked him a question.

"So, I know you guys were kind of unsure about each other, was she mad when you told her?" I asked.

"Told her what?" He replied with a confused look on his face.

"That we are a couple now." I said a little annoyed.

"Umm, no I'm sorry that didn't come up." Declan said with an embarrassed look on his face.

"Oh, well we should get home then." I said going inside the car. I couldn't believe that he wouldn't tell her. Now I was beginning to wonder what she was so happy about.

_Meanwhile with Spinner and Emma_

Spinner's POV

I had already gotten into the house a couple of hours ago when Emma comes through the door. I sat there thinking that maybe I should tell her that I think I might be in love with Jane. But I would never want to hurt her that way, and maybe Jane's already moved on. I didn't know what to do, I felt like this choice could either make or break my life.

"Hi Spinner, I'm surprised your back." Emma said with a smile.

"Yeah, umm Emma I think we should talk about something." I said with a small sigh.

"Sure Spinner what is it?" She said walking to the couch to sit next to me.

"Look, I don't mean this the wrong way, I'm not even sure that this is really what I want right now but I think that we should take a small - RING RING RING!

The telephone interrupted what I was saying. Emma went to the kitchen and grabbed the phone. I could barely hear any words. Emma came out with a couple of tears rolling down her cheeks.

"What's wrong?" I said to her concerned.

"I-it's my Mom. She's not doing so well, the doctors said that she has cancer and they don't know if she's going to make it." She said letting out a smile cry.

I held her in my arms telling her it would be ok. Whatever feelings I was having towards Jane had to wait. Right now Emma needed me, and I needed to be there for her.

**Hope you enjoyed. Tell me what you think. The next chapter will probably focus a lot on Holly J and Jane because, well for reasons that I cannot tell you. Review Please! Hearing your reviews helps me figure out great things for my story and makes my chapters update faster.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks for the reviews, it helped a lot with my small portion of writers block. Hope you enjoy.**

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN DEGRASSI (Not even a small portion of it)

Summary: When Jane's jealousy gets the best of her will she catch hold of her or began to boil? Is Holly J at Yale for more than and education? And will Emma be able to cope with the fact that her mother has cancer? All interesting questions...guess you'll just have to read to be able to answer them.

Broken Trust- Chapter 5

Jane's POV

I sat there in the car. I couldn't take it, why wouldn't he have told her that we were together. Was he embarrassed? Did he want her back? Maybe I'm just making too much of this, I had to find out. Declan sat down quickly in the leather seat of the car and began to drive. I stayed silent until he asked me something.

"Are you okay Jane, you seem really quiet?" Declan said.

"I'm fine. It's just that- why didn't you tell Holly J we were together?" I blurted out to him. I wasn't going to say anything but I just couldn't help it. I guess I was a little jealous. But it did seem like Holly J ended up having eyes only for the guys that I was with... First Spin then while I was having my fling with Declan. Now that we were ACTUALLY together she suddenly appears and this thing really felt like it was going somewhere serious.

"I guess it just didn't come up Jane. What's wrong?" He said, interrupting my thoughts.

"Nothing just forget it, what were you guys talking about?" I asked him trying to sound nonchalant.

"I didn't think you were the jealous type Jane." He said sarcastically giving me that Coyne-esque smirk that made my knees weak.

I looked up now. "Not funny Declan, answer the question." I said demandingly.

"It's not my place to tell Jane so don't bother asking again." Declan said with definite ending that conversation, yet sparking my suspicious thoughts again.

As I was about to say something more, I got a text. It was from Spinner. I started to smile as I read the text.

_Spinner: Hi Jane. Just wanted to see how you were doing. Me and Emma have been-ok. Text back when you get the chance._

"And who's that?" Declan said as he parked the car and got out to open my door.

"Just an old friend." I mumbled with a sly smile remembering all the good times me and Spin had together.

"So since you're not going to tell me about you and Holly J, I'll just assume that we are all great friends now and have her over for dinner tonight." I said, waiting for his response.

He didn't say anything as he went inside the house. I waited for a little while then followed him in thinking that I should probably just drop the whole thing.

"Fine Jane, we'll have her over." He said with a sigh.

"You don't seem to happy." I said as I put my bag on the couch.

"I'm fine Jane ok, it's just that she's going through a lot right now and I don't think she's going to want to come over." He said with a worried expression.

I went upstairs to the bedroom. I didn't have anything else to say. He was such a gentleman, maybe I was just being silly about the whole Holly J/Declan thing... Maybe he was right and I was taking this way out of proportion. I should never let jealousy get to me. I called Holly J from my cell-phone. She answered after 2 rings.

"Hi Jane. I'm glad you called." She said.

"You are?" I said confused. I guess maybe we could be friends again.

"Yeah, I have a lot to talk about with you." She said.

"Oh, umm ok. Go ahead." I said still confused about what she was so happy about.

"Well, firstly...I think there's a chance that me and Declan might be together again." She said excitedly.

"What?" I said shocked.

"Yeah, me and Sav didn't work out. Sav is

- yeah I know who Sav is." I interrupted her angrily. I knew that she wanted him back.

"Yeah well we didn't work out. We were just casual though. Anyway I really think that me and Declan might work out. We should take it slow though, you know become good friends again first and then maybe...

"I have to go Holly J, I'll call you back".

"Oh, ok bye Jane." She said.

I knew she wanted him, but will Declan believe me, I sure hope so.

_Meanwhile_

Spinner's POV

After I was done texting Jane I decided to go and see how Emma was doing. I didn't think Jane would text back, but hopefully we could at least be friends right now. I went up to our room to see Emma laying there, her eyes was filled with sorrow and pain, her blonde hair was messy, and she laid there lifeless.

I went over there and cuddled beside. I gave her a quick kiss and noticed the tears falling out of her eyes once again.

"Emma, it'll be ok. Your mom, she'll be alright." I said.

"How do you know that?" She said as she looked up at me.

"I just do, your mom will make it ok. We can check in with the doctors tomorrow." I said.

"Ok." she said as she closed her eyes.

She fell asleep in my arms and soon afterward I fell asleep too.

**Hope you guys liked it. Review! The next chapter will come soon. It will be more about Jane, Declan and Holly J.**


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN DEGRASSI (I'm so tired of writing that.)

Summary: When Jane tells Declan that Holly J wants him back will Declan believe her? Will Emma's mom be okay and will Spinner finally realize who he wants to be with? Read and you'll find out. The italic words are kind of like flashbacks.

It's Not a Lie- Chapter 6

Jane's POV

I threw the phone on my bed. I knew it, I knew that she wanted him back. Now I just had to tell Declan this and it will all be resolved. I will not let Holly J ruin my relationship. I slowly walked downstairs to see Declan sitting down on the couch.

"Declan, I need to talk to you about something." I said.

"And what's that?" He said, his attention turned fully to me.

I really hoped that he would believe me; I mean I would never go as far as to lie to him about something. I'm sure he'll understand.

"Jane, I think you had something to say." Declan said interrupting my thoughts once more.

"Yes, I do Declan. Holly J...she well, she wants you back." I said looking up to see his reaction.

"Come on Jane, you don't have to like her or the fact that she's in our class now but why would make something up like that?" Declan said in disbelief and what else was that? Disappointment maybe?

This is exactly what I did NOT to happen; now that it's all out he doesn't even believe me.

"Declan, I'm not making this up she talked to me on the phone!" I said, now angry that he wouldn't believe me.

"Why would she say that Jane, she's going through a lot and she doesn't want to be tied down at the moment?" He said getting off the couch.

"I'm sure that's what she told you. If you don't believe me fine. I'd just think that you'd believe your girlfriend over your ex who just told me that her and Sav's relationship is done." I said bitterly.

"Is that where you're getting this from? Look just because she's not with Sav that doesn't mean she wants me back." Declan said.

"She told me she does, why won't you believe me?" I said walking towards the door.

"Where are you going?" He said.

"As far away from you as possible." I said slamming the door.

Declan's POV

I saw the look on her face as she walked out. Hurt, pained. Maybe I should've believed her. I didn't want to fight with her, but from what Holly J told me it really didn't seem like she would want to be involved. I remember exactly what she said.

_"Hey Declan." Holly J said with a smile._

_"Holly J." I said, that was all I could get out of me._

_"Look, I know we had a lot going on when you came back but, I just wanted to say sorry. I know you didn't rape me Declan, I never thought you did. I just felt a little pressured. It's just that I really didn't want things to go that far with you. I was really confused about the whole situation. "She said as we walked out of class slowly._

_"It's my fault you said no and I didn't stop." I said sadly._

_"It's not completely your fault Declan, I could've walked away but I didn't." She said with a gloomy smile on her face._

_"Well, I'm glad we're talking." I said._

_"Yeah, me too." She said._

_"So, how are you and Sav?" I said to her._

_"We broke up. I think it was for the best. Maybe I should take a little break from guys." She said._

_I waved a goodbye to her and told her I'd call her later._

I called Jane and sent her a text but she never answered back, maybe she just needed her space.

Jane's POV

I got to the park and sat on a small bench. I decided to call was the only one I really felt like talking to right now. I took out my cell-phone and waited for him to answer. After two rings he answered the phone.

"Hey Jane, nice to hear from you." Spinner said.

"Yeah you too, I'm sorry that I didn't reply to your text I was busy with a few things." I said slightly bitter.

"No problem, so how are things in Yale?" Spinner said.

"Umm, there's been a little bit of drama, but its fine." I said.

"Well anytime you want to talk you can call me." He said.

"Thanks Spin." I said smiling now.

"Your welcome. I've well, really missed you Jane." He said.

"Yeah, I've missed you too." I said.

"Umm, well I'll call you tonight okay." I said.

"Sure, bye Jane." He said.

"Bye Spin." I said hanging up from the phone.

I really missed Spinner. It was great to hear from him, after what happened with Declan; I thought we'd never talk again. Sometimes I wish had never hooked up with Declan, so that I and Spinner would still be together.

Spinner's POV

Emma was feeling better now, I called the doctors and they said that her mother would be ok as long as she followed a few routines. When I told Emma she looked so relieved. She was happy again. She decided to go to the park but I stayed home. After being through all that with Emma, I was still thinking about Jane and just like that her name appeared on my phone. We had a nice chat, I wanted to tell her that I loved her that I wanted to be with her again, but I didn't know how. Sometimes I wish that I would have never left her the way I did. So that we could be together.

**Hope you guys enjoyed that. I will post more soon. Review and tell me what you think. The next chapter will focus on Holly J, Declan, Jane, Spinner, Emma, and Sean. I think it will be longer than most of my chapters and I hope you guys enjoy it.**


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN DEGRASSI (But you know that already.)

Summary: When Emma sees an old friend will everything be good? That's all you're getting, guess you'll have to read.

Love is in the Air- Chapter 7

Emma's POV

When I arrived at the park that I went to every day, I found my favorite spot and sat there. I began knitting when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around to see that it was Sean. Wait, SEAN. How could he be here?

"You look beautiful Emma." Sean said as he sat down next to me.

I couldn't believe that Sean was here, in the park, telling me that I looked beautiful.

"Sean! I blinked hard twice still not believing that Sean. Was here.

"I can't believe you're here... It's been so long." I said excitedly, giving him a hug.

"I've missed you so much Emma." He said as he hugged me back.

"'I've missed you too, when did you get here?" I said to him, giving him a small grin.

"A couple of days ago, I'm glad to be back, and I'm glad that you're here." Sean said.

"Cool, sit down we have a lot to talk about", I said as I tried to hide the wedding ring that seemed so gaudy now.

In that moment I forgot about Spinner completely, I missed Sean so much. I wanted kiss him; tell him how much I've missed him since he was gone. But I couldn't do all that, I was with Spinner now and as much as I missed Sean, I couldn't let Spinner go.

Sean's POV

I was wandering around not sure where to go. I had the entire day to myself and figured to go to the park. As I was walking I noticed a blond-haired-beauty. It was EMMA. I wanted to run up to her, to kiss her and tell her that I was back for good. But, instead I walked casually to the bench and tapped her lightly on the shoulder. When she turned around I told her that she looked beautiful, she gave me a hug and she seemed happy. I really did miss her and I was glad to see her again.

_Meanwhile with Jane and Declan_

Jane's POV

After I was done talking to Spinner I went back to the house. I was still upset, how could he not believe his own girlfriend? I opened the door to see Holly J and Declan sitting on the couch hand in hand. What was going on? Was he with her? If I wasn't calm and cool about everything I would have went to the couch and yanked her off of it, but I didn't do that. Instead I just waited a couple seconds before saying anything.

"What are you doing here?" I said looking at Holly J.

"Oh, Declan didn't tell me that you guys were roommates." Holly J said with a smile.

I knew it! He wanted Holly J back. I was just a fling, someone to be with until Holly J came. I should have known it was too good to be true, and I should have known that Holly J would come back. She always seems to go for the guys that I'm with or like. She had to stop doing that; she had to stop trying to steal my boyfriends. I snapped out of my thoughts.

"Hmm.. I guess he didn't tell you a lot of things." I said eyeing Declan meaningfully.

"Oh, umm I think I'll go Declan, I'll call you later." Holly J said.

As she was about to leave, I quickly sat her back down.

"No, you can stay for dinner tonight Holly J. Declan, come help me with dinner." I said with a fake smile.

"Oh, ok then." Holly J said sitting back down slightly uncomfortable. I wondered if she could feel the accusations I was thinking towards her?

I went into the kitchen with Declan. I sighed angrily as I looked for something to make.

"So, were you waiting for pigs to fly or were you going to tell her that we're together?" I said slamming the cabinet.

"We were busy with some other things, why are you so jealous? I didn't do anything." Declan said calmly.

"Maybe the fact that you don't want to tell her about us, or even that I live here. Or maybe because-

"Jane. Look, I'll tell her after tonight. She just really needs someone to talk to." Declan said putting an arm over me.

I shrugged it off quickly, and started to cook. I and Spinner never would've gone through this. I wish I had never hooked up with him; I would have the perfect relationship right now.

_Back to Emma and Sean_

Emma's POV

As I walked in the park with Sean, talking about almost everything but, one subject that I did NOT want to come up eventually did.

"So are you with anyone?" Sean said as we walked towards the trees.

"Well actually-

RING RING RING! Sean's phone interrupted thankfully. I was guessing that he had talk to someone about his new garage he told me about earlier.

"Hey, Emma. I have to go do a few things at the shop. Do you think you could meet me here tomorrow?" Sean said.

"Sure Sean. I'll see you here tomorrow then, bye." I said, once more giving him a quick hug. It was so great to see him, I wondered if he was with anyone. Then I remembered Spinner and mentally yelled at myself for even thinking about that.

**Review and tell me what you think!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Thanks for the reviews, I'm glad that people like the story.**

To pocksuppet: I thought that she was suppose to go to Harvord so maybe I messed up on that but she ends up going to Yale to be with Declan since they're a couple for right now...

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN DEGRASSI (Not now not ever)

Summary: When Emma meets Sean at the park once more will the truth come out or will he be left not knowing what just happened. Will Jane rethink her decision in being with Declan. Read and you'll find out.

Awkwardness and Secrets- Chapter 7

Jane's POV

I sat there getting dinner ready as Declan took a seat with Holly J. They were talking, laughing and having a great time. I felt like I was the third wheel. As I was about to get the plates out, my phone beeped from my pocket. It was a text from Spinner. It looked like he really wanted to talk. I set the plates down on the table, it was just a simple meal. Spaghetti and garlic bread. If Spinner was here, he probably would have made a great dinner. I had to stop thinking about him though, I messed up our realationship up and now I was paying for it.

"Dinner's ready you guys!" I shouted to Holly J and Declan.

They walked to the table and sat down. They looked at eachother for a while as I sat there quietly hoping for them to say something so it wouldn't be so awkward.

" This looks great Jane." Holly J said finally.

"Thanks, Holly J." I said bitterly. I hoped she didn't notice, I didn't want her to feel like I was mad at her even though in a way I kind of was. I needed to know what they were keeping from me.

"So Declan, we've been in this place for a while now. There's so many memories huh?" I said trying to get Declan to say I was his girlfriend. But of course it didn't work.

"Yeah, i guess so." He said nonchalantly then turned to Holly J.

Should I even be at this table?

"So Holly J, I'm glad you transferred to our class, do you find the work hard?" Declan said smiling at her.

"A little, but with some focus and studying it's not too bad. Do you wanna do the next research paper together?" Holly J said grabbing a napkin.

"Yeah, that sounds great." Declan said.

"Oh, but wer'e still working on the next project right Declan?" I said.

"Oh yeah, I'm sorry Jane I forgot. I promised Holly J I would help with the next one since she's a little bit behind. Is that okay?" Declan said with looking me in the eyes.

"Fine. Umm I'm done with dinner so I'm just going to wash this dish and go upstairs." I said trying to hide the anger and sadness boilling in me ready to explode at any moment. After my dish was clean I walked upstairs quickly. I opened the text that I got from Spinner and re-read it.

_Spinner: Hey Jane, I was wondering if we could talk. It's really important._

I text him back quickly.

_Jane: Just text me what you have to say. I'm not really in the mood for talking on the phone today Spin._

Spinner's POV

When I woke up I saw that Emma was gone. She had left me a note by on the dresser.

_Hey Spin didn't wanna wake you up, going out for the morning see you later._

I figured she was just going shopping or to the park. I text Jane after I was done reading. I had to see how she felt about me, I needed to know. Today was finally the day that I had to tell her. I couldn't keep doing this to myself. I hope that Emma will understand, I'm inlove with Jane and I just can't be married to her anymore, but I had to see how Jane felt. After I texted her I got up and made myself some breakfast. I watched TV and relaxed. I was glad I had changed my job to a nightshift. I got a text from Jane 10 minutes later. I read it quickly.

_Jane: Just text me what you have to say. I'm not really in the mood for talking on the phone today Spin._

I wondered what she was so upset about. I didn't quite know what to text her. I couldn't just come right out and say I wanna get back with you. Could I? I text her back after a few minutes of pondering over it.

_Spinner: Jane, I need you to answer this truthfully for me. And if you text back no to this I'll understand so please don't feel pressured. I was just wondering if you've ever maybe thought of us getting back together again. I really miss you._

I hoped that she would reply, even if it was by tommrow and she needed to think about it. I really hope I didn't make her feel like she had to say yes.

Jane's POV

As I sat there waiting for what he had to say, my phone beeped and I opened it immediately. I read the text silently.

_Spinner: Jane, I need you to answer this truthfully for me. And if you text back no to this I'll understand so please don't feel pressured. I was just wondering if you've ever maybe thought of us getting back together again. I really miss you._

I didn't know what to text him. I couldn't believe that he had just text me that. I wanted to say that I did, every day and every minute and that I want to get back together. But then I thought about Declan. I was so torn and I didn't know who to choose at that moment. Why should I be with Declan? It's so obvious that he wants to be with Holly J. I knew that I didn't have to be with him. But why couldn't I let him go? I didn't text back anything. I really had to think about what I texted him next. I put my phone away and thought about if for what seemed like forever. I decided to text him tommrow, I hoped that he would understand. I really wanted Spin back, we had a great thing going before I messed it up. But for some reason I couldn't help but think about Declan.

_Emma and Sean _

Emma's POV

I cheerfully arrived at the park and waited for Sean. I sat at the bench where he first saw me and waited there for a few minutes bouncing with anticipation. I saw Sean walk up to me smiling. I really missed that smile, it made everything so much better.

"Hi Sean, it's great to see you again." I said smiling up at him.

" Yeah, it's great to see you too. I'm sorry I had to leave yesterday, I had to fix a few things at the shop." Sean said.

"No problem, so- well I don't even know where to began. I've just missed you so much." I said truthfully.

" I've missed you too. How's your mom been?" Sean said as he sat down on the bench.

"Well, umm, recently, she's been figthing cancer. But the doctors say that she's doing better every day." I said a little sad, it was still a touchy subject for me.

"I'm sorry to hear that Emma, I'm glad she's doing better though." Sean said as he put his arm on me sympathetically.

"No, it's fine really. So how has the shop been? " I said trying to sound happier.

"It's been really good, it's almost like a dream come true." He said smiling at me.

"Well I'm really happy for you Sean." I said.

It became really silent as we both looked at eachother greedily. At that time I wasn't thinking about Spinner or my ring or anything else but Sean. We both leaned in for a kiss. The sparks flew, and everything felt great until I popped into reality when we let go. I realized again that I was married. I froze up knowing what I had done.

"Are you okay Emma?" Sean said.

"I'm sorry but, I have to go Sean." I said walking away and not bothering to look back.

Sean's POV

I watched her get up and go. I was very confused now. I didn't understand what was going on. At first it was going great, then she just walked away. I wondered what it was all about. I mean I was a little out of practice, focusing on finishing my GED and business class but I couldn't have been that bad. But, I couldn't do anything but wait for her in hopes that she would come back tommrow.

**Review and tell me what you think! The next chapter will probably focus more on Jane and Spinner and Holly J and Declan than Emma and Sean, but don't worry they will still be in the next chapter. Also, Anya and Sav will not come until the very end because they're just going to have a small part in this story.**


	9. Chapter 9

**I really want to thank you guys for the reviews. I read and appreciate every one that I get.**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN DEGRASSI (Not the characters, or the plots or anything else that I missed)**

**Summary: I think the title speaks for itself but whatever. When the truth comes out, how will it be handled? Some might be left in tears, some might find happiness. Like I always say, all you have to do is read. Sean is not in this chapter but don't worry Semma fans, he'll be in the next one LOL**

**Confessions- Chapter 9**

**Jane's POV**

**It was Saturday morning now, I was still thinking about Spinner. I had decided, I was going to do it, I was going to tell Spinner the truth. I realized who I really wanted to be with, it was all clicking in my head now, I wasn't jealous of Holly J and Declan connecting, I was jealous that they had something going that me and Spinner once had- great chemistry. Before I texted him, I decided to go to a resturant across the street from the apartment. I noticed that Declan wasn't here but I didn't think much of it, he probably went to the store or something. I entered the resturant and waited there cheerfully. I looked around at all the other customers eating, but one pair stuck out to me the most. It was Holly J and Declan, they were sitting there in the resturant kissing. I knew it, I walked up the two of them, sure I was over him but he has no right to treat me like this.**

**"Congratulations Declan, I'm very happy for the two of you." I said sarcastically. He needed to be called out.**

**"Jane I-**

**" Save it Declan. Holly J, good luck with him. But you need to hear the truth. Before you came back, me and Declan were together. But don't worry because we're over now." I said storming off. I was angry as I left the resturant. But it was, I realized for the best, I needed to be with Spinner, he was the only one I wanted. When I got to the house I texted him back.**

_**Jane: I got your message yesterday, call me when you can.**_

**I couldn't do this over a text, I needed to talk to him.**

_**Back at the resturant with Holly J and Declan**_

**Holly J's POV**

**After Jane had said that her and Declan were together I was in disbelief. After everything we talked about, he never thought to mention this. This wasn't something that you keep to yourself, especially when you tell somone that you love them.**

**"Declan, were you really with her?" I said.**

**"Yes but-**

**"Then I can't be here anymore goodbye." I said leaving the resturant. I didn't know how to handle this, how could I be with someone who doesn't tell me the truth? How do I know Jane was the only girl he was with?**

**Declan's POV**

**I couldn't believe this, two girls out of my life in one day. But the only one that I actually wanted back was Holly J. I should have told Jane that I didn't want to be with her, I was stupid. Now Holly J is walking out on me, and just when I thought that we were getting somewhere. I felt so horrible. Girl power- one, Coyne charm-zip. **

_**Emma and Spinner**_

**Spinner's POV**

**Jane still hadn't text me back. Maybe I shouldn't have said that to her? I think she probably feels awkward about the whole thing. As I was about to text her to forget that I said anything my phone beeped. I grabbed it anxiously and went downstairs because Emma was asleep and I didn't want to wake her. I read the text quietly.**

_**Jane: I got your message yesterday, call me when you can.**_

**I dailed her number quickly, I felt nervous, my fingers shakily slighty as I hurridely dialed her number. I hoped that this call would be a good thing. After 2 rings she answered the phone.**

**"Hey Jane." I said nervously.**

**"Hi Spin, I'm glad that you called, I'm sorry it took me so long to text back." Jane said.**

**"No problem, so what did you have to say." I mumbled, scared to hear what she wanted to say.**

**"Spin, I- I have really missed you and, I still love you. It took being with the wrong person and getting my heart broken to realize that I didn't want him, I wanted you. Do you think that we can try this again?" Jane said.**

**I was filled with relief and happiness that she had said that.**

**" Well we did have a good thing going so...yeah, I think that we can." Spinner said.**

**"I'm glad to hear that, let's take this slow okay Spin." Jane said.**

**"Yeah, yeah of course" I said.**

**"Great talk to later." Jane said happily.**

**I couldn't belive that she had actually said that, but what was I going to tell Emma?**

**Emma's POV**

**When I woke up I noticed that Spinner wasn't in bed. Maybe he went somewhere. I was still thinking about Sean and the kiss. I felt so guilty, but it felt right with Sean. I got out of bed and decided to make some breakfast, as I came downstairs I noticed Spinner sitting on the couch.**

**"Oh hi Spin." I said trying to sound nonchalant when in reality I wanted to tell him the truth and beg for forgiveness afterwards. He jumped when I said Hi, obviously startled.**

**"Is there something wrong Spin?" I said.**

**" Umm no, just didn't know you were down here ... actually yes, Emma we really need to talk to about something." Spinner said looking at me seriously.**

**"Did someone die?" I asked my hear jumping a little. He seemed upset. **

**" No, nobody died Emma. What I'm about to tell you, I really hope you understand, I want you to know that this has nothing to do with you because you are a wonderful wife, I know you have always stayed faithful to me but the truth is-**

**He stopped in the middle of his sentence when I looked down nervously.**

**"What's wrong?" He said.**

**"Nothing, go on." I said. But it wasn't nothing, I felt horrible that he thought I stayed faithful to him, but it was only a kiss right? Then why did I feel so bad? Snapping me out of my thoughts, Spinner continued talking.**

**"The truth is that, I-I don't think I can be with you anymore Emma." Spinner said. I felt hurt, why couldn't he be with me? My eyes started to fill up with tears and I tried to hide it.**

**"Are you saying that you want a divorce Spin?" I said, hoping that wasn't what he meant. **

**"I'm sorry Emma, I hope you're not mad, well of course your mad. I really do hope you can forgive me one day, because I'd still like to talk to you. I want you to have a great life Emma, I'm just not sure that I can be part of it anymore. **

**Tears rolled down my eyes like water from a waterfall. I was heart-broken. I thought of Spinner as the only person besides my parents who wouldn't hurt me. Now I was sitting at this table feeling horrible. How could this happen? **

**"Emma, please don't cry." Spinner said sympathetically.**

**"Who is it Spinner?" I asked him.**

**"I-i'm sorry." Spinner said with a sigh.**

**"Who is it!" I shouted as more tears rolled down my eyes.**

**"I-it's Jane." Spinner said with a sigh.**

**I slipped off my ring and threw at him. **

**"You want a divorce fine! After we sign the papers, that's it. I don't ever want to see you again." I said crying now, I didn't mean it but I had to say it to stop myself from crying more than I already was.**

**I never knew that words could hurt so much, but now here I was crying from what he had just said to me. I needed to get away, to clear my head. I decided to skip the park and go to the beach today. The place where my life with him began and was now about to end. As I started walking towards the door Spinner said something to me.**

**"Wait Emma, where are you going?" Spinner said with what seemed like concern.**

**I didn't say anything back, I was too hurt. I closed the door and started heading towards the beach that was a couple miles away.**

**Spinner's POV**

**I felt so bad for Emma but I had to do this for myself. I really hoped that Emma would understand, I'm sure she'll find somone worthwhile.**

**Kind of a sad chapter but not everything can always be happy. The next chapter will probably be very long, it will start off with Sean and Emma and then go to Jane and Spinner, then Holly J and Declan and Sav and Anya I think will be included in this unless I change my mind. Review and tell me what you think!**


	10. Chapter 10 part 1

**Okay so I changed my mind about this chapter. It's going to have 4 parts to it so it will of course have the same title, all expect for part 4 and you'll see why. And again, thank you for the reviews.**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN DEGRASSI (Why? Becuase someone else owns it.)**

**Summary: Emma is having a hard time with the fact that her and Spinner aren't together, so when she goes to beach who will be waiting there?**

**Together at Last - Chapter 10 part 1**

**Emma's POV**

** As I arrived at the beach, the last couple tears slid down my cheek as the slight wind also nipped at my face, but my heart was still broken. I felt stupid now. I should have noticed how distant he had become, always sending texts or going out for some "fresh air". I sat down on the hot sand, it tingled underneath my toes. I looked around at all the happy faces, the children laughing and playing, the married couples kissing (which was the last thing I wanted to see), and I watched the calm waves. Any other day I would be smiling, putting my feet in the water, or hanging out with friends, but today I just sat there feeling alone and hurt. As I was getting deeper into thought, thinking about the do we said our vows, Sean came and sat down by me. How did he find me here? All I could do was give him a sad smile and look back at the waves.**

**"Emma, I'm glad you're here. Do you want to tell me what happened yesterday?" Sean said as he looked at me and saw the tears that were falling down my face again.**

**"Please , don't cry Emma." Sean said gently putting an arm on my shoulder.**

**"I-I'm sorry, I just have a lot on my mind." I said, trying to hide the tears but failing miserably.**

**"Do you want to talk about it?" Sean said with an encouraging smile.**

**I looked up at Sean and wiped my tears. I was contemplating on whether or not I should tell him the entire story. It hurt too much right now, I couldn't tell him. It would be like going back in time to feel the pain all over again. After a few minutes of silence I began to speak.**

**"Let's just say that...I-i rushed into something and now I feel like dirt." I said looking down at the sand I continued on.**

**"It never feels good coming second in someone's life." I said.**

**Sean looked at me now, I think he felt sorry for me. But either way it was like he knew exactly what to say. **

**"Emma, whoever puts you second is stupid. Your'e a great person, you're beautiful, kind, and caring. You deserve someone who won't break your heart." Sean said.**

**Like the park all over again, we kissed eachother, setting of the sparks all over again. Thinking back, I doubt they ever left, they were just pushed aside for a while but always there. True love never goes away. It made me feel like everything would be okay, I felt better than I had when I left the house. We sat there in a comfortable silence for the rest of the time we spent at the beach. He always did know how to make me feel better.**

**Hope you guys enjoyed it. Review! The next part will have to do with Jane and Spinner.**


	11. Chapter 10 part 2

**Thanks for the reviews. I really enjoy reading them. It's coming really close**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN DEGRASSI (just thought you should know that)**

**Summary: It's Jane and Spinner...what more is there to say just read it.**

**Together at Last Chapter 10 part 2**

**Jane's POV**

**After my talk with Spinner I felt so much happier. I missed him so much. I don't know why I had ever even hooked up with Declan. I wish that Spinner was at Yale, so that I could see his face again. But, I knew that would never happen, so what was I going to do? I guess I had to talk to him and figure things out. I had just decided to call him when Declan came through the door.**

**"Jane, we need to talk." Declan said.**

**I sighed, annoyed that he was even talking to me.**

**"What do you want?" I said coldly.**

**"Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you ok. I love Holly J though and feelings like that just don't go away." Declan said.**

**"You're right." I said simply.**

**"And if you don't like that then- wait what?" He said confused.**

**"Feelings like that just don't go away, I hope you and Holly J have a great life together just like me and Spinner will." I said waiting for his reaction. **

**"Oh, wait no I'm still confused." He said.**

**I chuckled lightly and motioned for him to come and sit on the couch.**

**"Declan, don't you see? We were never meant to be with eachother. We both were hurt, you wanted Holly J to come back and I wanted Spinner to come back, I think we both thought that they would never be in our lives so, we settled for...well, eachother." I said with a small smile, hoping that he would understand now.**

**"So you're not mad?" Declan said.**

**"Just go try and win Holly J back, I'm sure she wasn't to happy with the fact that you didn't tell her we were together." I said.**

**With that Declan practically ran out the door. I laughed a little, I felt so much happier now. It was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.**

**I called Spin after Declan left and we both decided on waiting to really be together until after college. Everything was falling right into place now.**

**Did you like it? I know Spinner wasn't really in this one but it was just showing how it is now that there together. Review and tell me what you think! The next part will be about Holly J and Declan.**


	12. Chapter 10 part 3

**Thanks for the lovely reviews. I really enjoy writing this.**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN DEGRASSI (but hey, a person can dream right?)**

**Summary: Some things happen with Holly J and Declan. I know it's a bad summary but the story won't be.**

**Together at Last- Chapter 10 part 3**

**Declan's POV**

**As soon as I got out of the house I called Holly J. I needed to fix this, to fix everything, I wasn't about to have her leave me again, I needed her. I took the phone out of my pocket quickly and dialed her number.**

**"Holly J, I'm sorry." I said.**

**"Declan, I don't know if I can trust you anymore. How do I know Jane was the only girl that you were with?" Holly J said angrily.**

**"I know you're really upset right now but please, meet at the resturant in 10 min. I promise you that it will be worth it." I said.**

**She hung up after that. I wasn't sure if she would show up, but I went to the resturant anyways.**

**Holly J's POV**

**After I hung up, I was still trying to decide whether or not I should go. I decided to call Jane to see what she thought about it. I dailed her number cautiously.**

**"Hello." Jane said.**

**"Jane, hi. Look, I know you probably don't like me right now but I had no idea-**

**" It's fine Holly J, you didn't know." Jane said nonchalantly.**

**"Well anyways, Declan wants to meet me somewhere, I kind of called to ask your opinion on what I should do." I said nervously.**

**"I think you should go, he obviously cares enough to make things right Holly J." Jane said.**

**"Yeah, yeah mabye you're right, thanks Jane." I said.**

**"No problem, he really does deserve a second chance." Jane said.**

**"Bye."I said then hung up. I took my jacket and left out the door. I hoped this would go well.**

**Declan's POV**

**I waited at the table anxiously. I was beginning to think that she wouldn't show up. I took a sip of my water when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around to see Holly J standing there. Why did she looked even more beautiful than before?**

**"Hey, you wanted to talk?" Holly J said with a light smile.**

**"Y-yeah, have a sit." I said.**

**She sat down slowly, she was waiting for me to say something and I was waiting to put it into the right words. After a few minutes of silence I began to speak.**

**"Look, I know I was wrong Holly J, but I need to understand something first. When I found out that you were with Sav, I felt like a wreck. I never forgot about you, but when I realized that we weren't going to be together any time soon I feared that..well that you would never come around. So when Jane was there for me I settled for her. I didn't really want her though, I wanted you- I've always wanted you Holly J, because I love you." I said.**

**She looked at me for a while, I think she was shocked. Either way she began talking.**

**"Why didn't you tell me though Declan? Do you know how you made me feel? I left Sav because I realized that I wanted you. Then when Jane told me that the two of you were together I was heart broken. I understand that you were afraid, but I need you to be honest with me if this going to work." Holly J said.**

**Happiness swept my face. I looked her in the eyes before I said, "Okay, no more lies. I just don't want to lose you again. So...do you forgive me?" I asked her, desperately hoping that she would say yes.**

**She gave me a smile and without saying anything leaned in and kissed me. I could obviously take that as a yes.**

**Review! Tell me what you think. The last part is going to be about Sav and what he has been doing since Holly J dumped him. **


	13. Chapter 10 part 4

**Okay this is the last part and I hope that you guys like it. I'm just going to do a quick summary on them so there's not going to be any dialouge.**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN DEGRASSI (sadly)**

**Summary: What has Sav been doing since Holly J broke up with him?**

**It took us so long to get here Chapter 10 part 4**

**Sav's POV**

**After Holly J broke up with me I was very upset. I knew that we were going to end soon though. I mean, it was only casual right? After a month of sorrow I got back with Anya, but she wasn't accepting at first. She made me realize that she didn't need me, she could easily have been on her own. But, at the same time I knew that she wanted me back too because she forgave me. We went through alot of ups and downs but found stability. I stood up to my parents and told them that I was never going to be with Farrah because I loved Anya. It was the hardest time of my life, my parents were so upset with me, but after a while they accepted the fact that nothing could tear us apart. Me and Anya ended up going to the same college, we are happily together and I will never let anything mess us up again.**

**Review and tell me what you think about it! More stories will come soon!**


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